Friday, April 7, 2017

The Top Reality TV Shows of 2016

I'm not sure if I want to give away the winners of the seasons or not because I would hate spoilers if they were told to me.  I also don't have a ton to say about a lot of these as I run through them but I did put my top 5 Reality TV Shows of 2016 at the bottom of the list.  I'll be upfront and say that I am much more of a Competition Reality Show guy than a Reality Show with Drama and shit like the Housewives or Kardashians or any of that garbage.  

Without further ado...

The Challenge (MTV - Season 27) - This season was Bloodlines which means that there was one person who was on a MTV show and one person who is related to them that came to be their partner.  Somehow, Bananas got to bring his Cousin who played D1 college football.  The best part of this show is that it introduced some new blood that can come back for shows in the future.

Married at First Sight (A&E - Season 3) - 3 couples - Sam & Neil, David & Ashley, and Vanessa & Tres.  Basically every girl was a mess and all the guys tried to accommodate everything for them...didn't go well for any.

The Bachelor (ABC - Season 20) - Ben Higgins chose Lauren B. over JoJo, even though JoJo is way cooler and way hotter.  Cayla was a sexy as hell but basically couldn't talk.  Ben did a big no-no and told both Lauren and JoJo that he loved them before dumping one at the least JoJo became the Bachelorette.

The Bachelorette (ABC - Season 12) - JoJo picked Jordan Rodgers even though she had 3 other good dudes...which basically never happens, and now they are most boring couple ever.  This season did give us Chad though...

Bachelor in Paradise (ABC - Season 3) - Chad went ham (literally and figuratively).  The end had three couples engaged, Josh & Amanda, Lace & Grant, and Evan & Carly, who also happened to have the grossest makeout in history.  

Also, I like Canadian Daniel now. They picked Nick as the new Bachelor instead of Luke because apparently they like mumbling on The Bachelor.

The Biggest Loser (NBC - Season 17) - The theme was Temptation Nation whatever the hell that meant.  I really liked my man Colby and I continue to love Jen Widerstrom.  She's the best thing to happen to this show (still got love for my man Bob to0).

Top Chef (Bravo - Season 13) - The season took place all along California which was pretty cool.  My pick Jeremy won in an otherwise just OK season.

The Amazing Race (CBS - Season 28) - The season had a bunch of YouTube, Vine, and Instagram stars and I thought I was going to hate everyone because it sounded like the typical Millennials who are all spoiled and shit but I turned out to like a lot of the contestants surprisingly.  Except for Dana, the dancer who was just a total complete shithead to her longterm boyfriend Matt.  

Shark Tank (ABC - Season 7) - I can't remember anything specific from the season already as all the Shark Tank seasons bleed into one another.

Ink Master (Spike TV - Season 7) - I don't know how Anthony won 1st place over Cleen Rock One when he didn't even finish one of his tattoos.  It's insanity.  Cleen Rock was better despite that anyway.

The Voice (NBC - Season 10) - Laith Al-Saadi 4th place, Hannah Huston 3rd Place, Adam Wakefield 2nd place, Alisan Porter (Curly Sue) Winner.  Really weak season for The Voice.  I'm glad Christina finally won I guess but I'm never going to listen to a song from Alisan Porter in the future and I'm sure I'll probably never hear one from her unless she plays it on The Voice.

American Grit (FOX - Season 1) - Team Noah Winner; Mark (lumberjack) & Clare win $250K.  They need to do something different next season with the same obstacle course that they used before each elimination.  Either have it in a place where everyone can see them running or switch it up each elimination.  This show could have potential though.

Strong (NBC - Season 1) - Stupid.  For some reason, instead of building side by side obstacle courses so that each team could run against each other at the same time, they just went one after another.  But, they also didn't have a clock, so you have no idea if you're ahead or behind.  It was just stupid.

After The Thrones (HBO - Season 1) - Pretty much just stole the premise of The Talking Dead that comes on and talks about the episode of The Walking Dead that you just watched, only this is for Game of Thrones.  I thought it was very good except for the cold opens. I'm not sure why they didn't have Jason and Mallory on every single episode, but the shows where they were on and gave insights from the book and stories were 1,000x better.

Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Los Angeles Rams (HBO - Season 11) - Same old Hard Knocks.  It's always going to be enjoyable but there weren't really any compelling players or storylines on this season.

Dating Naked: Playing for Keeps (VH1 - Season 3) - They ended up picking each other which was pretty obvious throughout the season.  The girl was quite the looker as well.

Big Brother (CBS - Season 18) - My first time watching a season of Big Brother.  Unfortunately, none of the apps that have shows (Amazon, Hulu, Netflix, etc.) have old seasons that you can watch.  Also, it took away knowing the 4 returnees to the house.  Nicole (returner) wins by 1 vote over Paul marking the 1st time a girl beat a guy in the final 2.  Also, Michelle sucks.  And also, Natalie sucks.

Naked & Afraid XL (Discovery Channel - Season 2) - Kind of hated everyone except Jake, Kim, and Steven.

Married at First Sight (FYI - Season 4) - Terrible.  Just terrible.

Ink Master (SpikeTV - Season 8)  Winner Ryan, first female winner.  The girls were really good on this season and although I don't think Ryan actually won the finale, she was probably the best throughout the actual season.  Plus, she plays to my liking of girls with sleeve tattoos.

The Voice (NBC - Season 11) - New judges Alicia Keys and Miley Cyrus.  I started off liking Alicia but her shit got old about halfway through the season.  Never liked how they showed Miley singing along with the songs every time someone preformed.  The Winner was Sundance Head (great name) and 2nd Place was Billy Gilman.

Survivor: Millenials vs. Gen X (CBS - Season 33) - Winner Adam (swept the votes).  Great season although I feel like now they only have seasons with a specific theme rather than just 20 strangers stranded on an island.  Just wanted to point out that Adam was my pick to win this season as well...I'm pretty good at picking winners, just FYI.

Top 5:

5. Steve Austin's Broken Skull Challenge (Spike TV - Season 3) - Hunter (guys) and Cassidy (girls) are returning champions.

I don't know if I'm in the minority on this show or not but I freaking love it.  Hunter is pretty much unbeatable on the obstacle course.  The thing is, there are contestants who might be good a the Broken Skull but can't get past the one-on-one competitions in order to get there.  You need to be balanced to reach the end at all.  You need size and strength to beat everyone head-to-head but also a deep gas tank so that you can crush the Skull Buster.  Plus, who doesn't love Stone Cold??

4. The Challenge (MTV - Season 28 - Rivals III) - Bananas and Sarah win (Bananas takes the $275K), Vince and Jenna 2nd (split $), Devin and Cheyenne 3rd (split)

Bananas not only solidified himself as the greatest Challenge contestant in history but he also pulled off the most villainous move in the history of the show.  I would have too because how many more of these things does he really have in him?

3. Survivor (CBS - Season 32 - Kaoh Rong) - Winner Michelle, 2nd Place Aubry, 3rd Place Tai

Survivor is my favorite reality show in history...fact.  Kaoh Rong was an all-around great season which is hard to do with a whole new cast nowadays.

2. Last Chance U (Netflix - Season 1) - Awesomeness

Both these last two shows were captivating.  Sometimes you wanted to scream at the TV for these kids to just go to freaking class but it was super interesting to see the behind-the-scenes of a Junior College and its effect on College Football.

1. All or Nothing: A Season with the Arizona Cardinals (Amazon - Season 1)

I believe they are staying with the Cardinals for another season for this show but I can't remember if that's correct or not.  Unlike Hard Knocks, All or Nothing plays out over an entire season and focuses much more on players who you'll actually see in games rather than 6th receivers or back-up linemen who will get cut.  All or Nothing was way, way better than Hard Knocks this year and Bruce Arians seems like he'd be awesome to grab a beer with.