Friday, April 3, 2015

The Bachelor Recap - Episode 10: The Final Rose

I figured that I would wait until everyone forget about this season of The Bachelor and then come right in with my recap of the finale.  Makes total sense, right?  In reality, I just didn't want to have written a recap for every episode and nothing for the finale, so here we go....and not a moment too soon.

We're down to the final two girls, Whitney & Becca.  They really couldn't be at two farther places in their relationships with Chris right now.  Basically, he has to ask himself if he wants the girl who obviously and overtly loves him or the one who is unsure and would make him chase her...perhaps for a couple of years too.  Remember, Chris is 32, so a couple of years at this point in his life is a big deal.

The girls are coming to Arlington, Iowa to meet Chris' family.  If it wasn't enough that he lives in a one-horse town, let's go there in the Winter too!

First Up, Whitney.

She's maybe the most genuine and sweetest girl to ever be on the show, so it's probably going to go pretty great.  Now that she's broken the "I love you," barrier, she is ALL ABOUT telling him every single time they're together.  That has to hammer in the point that Becca hasn't said it once yet.

She gives a toast and basically makes everyone cry because of how much she loves Chris, their family, and how important this is to her.

I mean shit, she already looks like one of the freaking sisters.

Chris does have a very easy family to get along and fit in with, which makes Whitney even more so of a front runner because she lost both of her parents and is looking for the love of a family along with the love of a husband.  OK, this is getting a little too sappy.  I feel like I should make fun of something.

Chris "talking" about Becca (basically because he can't string two sentences together): If and when Becca falls in love with me, she said she'll move anywhere.  Uhhhh, OK?  That's your argument for Becca?  Good luck to Becca.

Next Up, Becca.

I don't know if it's her monotone voice or the fact that she has the emotional maturity of a 10 year old, but every conversation she has is completely uncomfortable.  It's as if she has never seen The Bachelor.  It's literally a show about getting married and starting a family.  Why would you go on a show like this if you weren't ready to do that or to move somewhere (especially because she doesn't have a job or anything holding her back).

It's super weird and uncomfortable.  Which makes sense, because Becca is super weird and uncomfortable. I think she keeps trying to convince herself that she's not in love with him but she probably is.

This is literally Chris trying to talk to Becca.

So much as watching The Bachelor can actually aggravate me.

They each get a little one-on-one time.

Becca talks about her unsureness...again.

Whitney looks like a vampire...again.

Let's get on with this already.

Chris goes to Neil Lane and picks out a ring that looks RIDICULOUS and makes the one I bought look like a toe ring.

Becca shows up first wearing, what must be the curtains she stole from Chris' house or some leftover upholstery from a 1970's couch or something.

Chris tells her it's not her and it doesn't even seem to phase her.  No tears, no nothing.  The last 10 girls or so have balled their eyes out but she seems more relieved that she doesn't have to marry him.  I think he made the right choice.

Whitney shows up next, wearing an appropriate dress and looking quite nice.  

Thank God he chose her.

P.S. How fucking awesome is this barn?  It's out of like a John Steinbeck novel or something.

After The Final Rose, recap by Sponty:

Britt cries, Carly judges, Kelsey shows psychotic tendencies, one of the Ashley's brings an onion and Chris avoids confrontation. Boom! Recap.