Monday, March 9, 2015

The Bachelor Recap - Episode 8: Homegrown Honeys



I'm way late on getting these recaps up but with Chris about to make his "decision" on a new fiancee, I figured I better get these suckers out of the way.  So here it goes.

We're still doing things backwards and starting off with some 1:1 time with Becca before a rose ceremony at the beginning of the episode.

Becca decides to take the Ashley I. route with saying she's a virgin, by blatantly not saying it.  Ashley I. described herself as "inexperienced" and thought that he would get it, while Becca says she's "never been in love" and pretty much expects the same result.

Newsflash ladies, you have to spell everything out to him.  Oh, and don't expect him to be able to formulate sentences following that...or pretty much at any time you put him on the spot.  Chris ain't too good at all that talking stuff like them city folk.

The other remaining girls are sitting around their hotel, per usual, when Britt does a Bachelor no-no and says that she's thinking about leaving.  Bachelor 101, don't ever give the other girls ammo about how you're not completely in on whoever the Bachelor is.  What Britt really wants is reassurance from Chris and basically to be asked to stay by him because he can't go on without her in this.  Unfortunately for her, this environment is completely wrong for that.  In real life, she's thinking about it 100% right.  In the Bachelor world, which is a weird fucking world, you can't go about it that way.  Plus, you can't vent about thoughts and emotions to the other girls like you would normally do when you're trying to work things out and process stuff.

So obviously Carly is judgmental, condescending, and completely overblows the situation, but she basically did call out her move of not actually wanting to leave, which is a total BS statement, so I can actually see where she's coming from, even if I don't like her...at all.


Every time a situation like this comes up, every person has the same response.

Britt - Cries
Kaitlyn - Stays silent (good move)
Carly - Rolls her eyes and attacks
Whitney - Puts together completely rational thoughts while also being empathetic
Jade - Looks sexy

Next Up, Rose Ceremony

Chris apparently hates cocktail parties now and opts to go straight to the rose ceremony again.  In all honesty, how much could you really change about your relationship with another 10 minute conversation.

BUT, Britt was banking on her conversation to talk to Chris and get back to the way things were before her mini-breakdown on the last group date.  Tough break honey.

You can literally pinpoint the exact moment that she realizes that she's played her hand wrong and actually kind of screwed herself.


At the rose ceremony, Britt, being scared shitless, jumps in before Chris can give out a rose and says she needs to talk to him.  I'm guessing that Kaitlyn called this move in the limo ride over because she give the 'nothing but net' move as they head out to talk.


The conversation does not go well.

She apologizes about her last outburst and then asks him if he has anything to say to her (basically setting him up to confess how much he wants her to stay).  He does the exact opposite of that.  He says how the other girls (Carly) have been saying she's lying and being fake and how he felt disrespected by the way she acted and doesn't want that in a wife.  Ouch.


Of course, after Chris sends her home and she's completely breaking down outside, they show an interview clip of Carly saying how much she loves seeing Britt squirm.  Granted, I'm 99% positive that she said that before the rose ceremony about Britt not feeling confident about getting a rose and not after she got sent home, but it was a nice bit of producer-ing to cut it in afterwards.

For the record, I'm Team Britt.  This doesn't look like the reaction of someone who was being fake.


Carly gets the boot too because, you know, she sucks at life and all.

First Hometown Date, Becca in Louisiana.

First of all, I don't understand any family on this show who talks bad about their daughter/sister/friend during the hometown dates.  Even if you don't believe in the whole process of The Bachelor, why would you deny her of any potential happiness.

Becca's sister immediately goes into a spiel about how she's not an intimate person, has never brought anyone home, and that they've never seen her even hold a guys hand.  You know, the normal stuff you bring up in the first 5 minutes of meeting a guy your sister just brought home for the first time.  Good job.

Second Hometown Date, Whitney in Chicago.

Apparently Whitney is a vampire when not on the show.

It's very noticeable how excited she is to see Chris every time.  I've said this from the first time we've met Whitney, but she does NOT know how to tell a joke.  You can immediately tell that she's planned it out, word by word, practiced in front of the mirror, and thinks it's going to work like gangbusters.  And it's always so flat and awkward.  I legit cringed when she said they were "going to go make a baby," and then followed it up with a wink.  Brutal.

Since Chris is a frequent visitor to Chicago, she takes him through a day in her life instead of the usual sights.  They go to her work and she makes some more bad jokes about sperm donation...obviously.  

At dinner with the family, Whitney's sister won't give her blessing to Chris even though Whitney tells her that Chris is going to ask and to do so because she's so in love with him.  And she still doesn't.  What the fuck?  How is that going to help anyone?  I don't get these families.  It's unreal.

Families have absolutely ruined the chances for people on this show.  I just don't understand why you would do that.

Third Hometown Date, Kaitlyn in Arizona (via Canada).

Kaitlyn is the first one that has an actual fun date planned with Chris.  They go into a music studio to write and record a rap song.  He's just awful at it.  No rythme.  No anything.  But it's actually corny enough to be kind of funny.  Terrible, yeah, but in a fun way.


I'll give it to Chris, he is a good sport.

He meets Kaitlyn's family and they are by far the best, and it's not even close.  Everyone is loving and super supportive and welcoming.  Not to mention, they eat around this incredible fire pit on the back patio that I now need to own.


Kaitlyn finishes off her date with Chris by bringing him by a billboard...


So, she doesn't necessarily tell him she loves him but she like 80% tells him I guess.  

Fourth Hometown Date, Jade in Nebraska.

They take a stroll through town and then head home for dinner.  Her dad seems like a really sweet guy but everyone in her family describes her as a wild mustang and having a crazy side, which must seem weird because Chris has only ever seen her be really shy.  It has to alarm him at least a little bit that he's never seen anything like that in her personality.  Almost as if she's playing down her partying alter-ego or something.  What is wrong with these families?  Just stick to positive things.

Jade finally breaks it to him that she posed for playboy.  It's kind of awkward that she wants to look at the pictures together with him.  The photos are one thing but the video is slightly different.  It has to be incredibly uncomfortable to look through these together.  I wasn't even there and I felt uncomfortable for him.

Next Up, the Rose Ceremony.

Whitney, Rose.
Becca, Rose
Kaitlyn, Rose
Jade, no Rose.

Chris says that it's not the playboy stuff and I'd like to believe him, and he seems to be telling the truth but it has to be almost impossible for Jade to believe that it's not because of that.  Even if it's the truth.  You could tell at the rose ceremony when she was not picked that it's almost like she kind of expected it and that she's not surprised in the least.

Overnights are up on the next episode.