NFL Weekly Wrap-Up: Week 1
Green Bay Packers 16 - Seattle Seahawks 36
Seattle showed why it is still the best team in the NFL with their stifling D and now a well-oiled Offense clicking alongside it. It probably helped that Green Bay's D-Line looked like this...
It's nice to see some college-style trickery in the NFL these days to mix it up too.
Zach Miller reminded everyone that he still exists.
New England Patriots 20 - Miami Dolphins 33
Tom Brady's record is now 6-7 in Miami...which seems absurd, but they always play him well in that humidity. Wouldn't you be intimidated of going down there if you saw these fans (these are all pics just from this game)?
Fortunately for me, when I think of Miami Dolphins fans, I think of these ones...
Tennessee Titans 26 - Kansas City Chiefs 10
The Chiefs are back to being terrible and thus the world makes sense again. I'm happy I don't own Jamal Charles in Fantasy right now since he only got 7 freaking rushes. I'm not sure if Andy Reid knows that he's pretty much all they have on offense.
But at least their Special Teams is OK.
Ummm, I mean, their Defense.
For real though, it's too bad that Derrick Johnson tore his achilles and is out for the year, he's a really good player and you never like to see guys get seriously injured.
But in all honesty, never change Chiefs fans. Still some of the best in the biz.
Pork Steak? In any other place other than KC and that jersey makes no sense.
Now, this one, I literally have no idea.
Washington Redskins 6 - Houston Texans 17
I'm ecstatic that it looks like we have 2013 RGIII and not 2012 rookie RGIII. And in case you forgot, J.J. Watt is a fucking monster. The first game after signing a $100 million dollar contract (and immediately googling "what do rich people buy?") Watt had a sack, a fumble recovery, blocked an extra point, and generally had RGIII running for his life the entire day.
And the Redskins doing Redskins things. Where was this guy even going to block?
Maybe the biggest surprise win of the weekend. Chris Conte might want to learn how to tackle or at least not get completely emasculated on the way to a touchdown in the future.
That gif pretty much summed it up.
Cincinnati Bengals 23 - Baltimore Ravens 16
The Ravens offense looked completely inept in the one...especially Joe Flacco, aside from a flukey broken play where Steve Smith gave a MAN stiff arm to score.
On the other side with the Bengals, I don't think Tyler Eifert's elbow is supposed to look like that.
Maybe my favorite play to watch live from the weekend. Flacco just completely lost, getting no points, no FG attempt, no pass attempted, or anything of note at the end of the first half.
And then looking like this...
P.S. Fuck you Ray Rice.
Being a longtime David Carr supporter (albeit as a backup with the Giants), I'm rooting for Derek Carr in Oakland. He's the only rookie who got the call in week 1 and so far it looks like they have some interesting plays drawn up for him.
I hate ever seeing this, but it's always funny to me that Rex gets so high with his highs and so low with his lows.
Check out these AFC East Standings, haven't seen this in a long while.
Jacksonville Jaguars 17 - Philadelphia Eagles 34
Rookie Allen Hurns went crazy in the first half of this game, scoring twice in Jacksonville's surprising first half. Just as a precaution, I will keep reminding myself not to pick him up in fantasy because he has week 1 Kevin Ogeltree written all over him...but good for that dude anyway.
Not only was Jacksonville not able to protect a 17-0 lead, they ended up not being able to cover the 10.5 spread, which is absolutely incredible. Check out their in-game win probability from Alfie Crow.
Cleveland Browns 27 - Pittsburgh Steelers 30
The play of the weekend. Do I think that he meant to do it? Definitely not at first but then instincts kicked in (see what I did there?). Does it matter to me? Nope, it was just awesome.
It's great to see punter and kick receiver Spencer Lanning being a good sport about it. Really the best way to handle it.
Antonio Brown better not get suspended over this. That would be whack. Especially with the focus on some of the other suspension decisions going on right now.
Minnesota Vikings 34 - St. Louis Rams 6
The Rams are bad.
Cordarelle Patterson is good.
This stat is great. Patterson now has runs of at least 35 yards in three straight games...and he's a wide receiver...and he's very, very fast.
New Orleans Saints 34 - Atlanta Falcons 37
Matt Ryan looked like the Matt Ryan of old, setting the Falcons single game passing yards record with 448 yards to squeak by the Saints in OT.
Fat Matt Bryant sealed the win with some big boots.
San Francisco 49ers 28 - Dallas Cowboys 17
Tony Romo is already in late season form. Throwin' picks on top of picks, on top of picks.
He also almost got Dez Bryant cut in half.
Kind of reminded me of this.
A nice little off-season dig of James Harden's defense from Ty Lawson was pretty damn funny too.
Carolina Panthers 20 - Tampa Bay Bucs 14
Indianapolis Colts 24 - Denver Broncos 31
If you want to know what happened in this game, just imagine this play by Julius Thomas with a Colts linebacker trailing 5 yards behind happening for 3 hours.
New York Giants 14 - Detroit Lions 35
Calvin Johnson was just a little open last night on his way to 164 yards and 2 TDs as the Lion absolutely dominated the Giants.
Eli face coming in hot and its only week 1.
San Diego Chargers 17 - Arizona Cardinals 18
The Cardinals scored a late TD to sneak by the Chargers at home with a TD to rookie John Brown. And these two fans were happy about it.
Week 1 is in the books and since technically the Giants are tied for 2nd place in the NFC East and none of the teams looked particularly good, I'm still (sort of) optimistic about the season.